Listen, I am not afraid to admit that I am a MESS. I need the Lord in every way. He has carried me a long way and is still carrying me on this beautiful journey.
My journey with the Lord started at a very young age. I received Christ in my heart at the tender age of 10. However, I didn't receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit until I was 17. So I was living life absent of the Holy Spirit for about seven long years. Looking back, I don't see how I made it without Him!
When I was thirteen, my parents stepped out on faith to plant a church. Overnight I became a "PK" also known as a pastor's kid and boy, did I hate it. In high school I knew I was different and that was difficult for me to accept. I knew I was a light in the midst of darkness but I was so desperate to fit in that I tried with everything in me to hide my light. I did everything those in the world did. You name it, I most likely did it. But I was still unfulfilled. As I look back, I know the devil was trying to make me quit. He hit my family and I with whatever he could. The assaults on my mind also became more intense. I began feeling like I was drifting further and further away from The Lord. The dislike I had for myself slowly became a deep hatred and I felt like my life was slowly caving in... I was just tired.
I was just tired. Yes, I said it twice... I was tired of living in darkness. I needed a love that would sustain every part of me. I needed a greater power to deliver me from my strongholds--I needed Him! As I transitioned out of high school into college God straight up tackled me with His love. At a youth conference I encountered the precious love of God. It was so captivating that I began to fully live for Christ. Don't think it was a walk in the park thereafter, however. I lost friends for my decision to walk with Christ and the devil turned up the heat with attacking my mind. But this time, I was receiving victory with the power of the Holy Spirit. I dedicated an entire to semester of college off to get closer to Him--to have hours to just rest in His presence. To some that's a little extreme, but I was so desperate to get closer to Him that I knew I had to do something radical. It was a sacrifice I'm glad I made.
Yes, it's not easy as a young person to live for Jesus in such a secular culture today. But it sure wasn't easy for Christ to carry that cross for me either. The fact is, if Christ could carry a cross for me, take ridicule, rejection from the ones He loved the most, take nails in His hands and feet for me, I can live radically for Him. That is my reason for starting this blog-- to help both Believers and non-Believers draw closer to His love.
All along I've just been a misfit. Now, fitting in is no longer a priority in my heart. I was never made to fit in, rather to stand out for Christ. My desire is that every misfit would come to know the radical, intimate, perfect, and unfailing love of Jesus Christ.